HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD ANAGRAM

In honor of the newest installment of The Chain:

HARRY POTTER AND THE LEACH-PROOF BLIND

HARRY POTTER AND THE BLAND POOCH RIFLE

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHEAP BLIND FLOOR

HARRY POTTER AND THE PLAID FLOOR BENCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE BIRCH PANEL FLOOD

HARRY POTTER AND THE PEARL BLOOD FINCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE FINAL BELCH DROOP

HARRY POTTER AND THE FRAIL BLOND EPOCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE ALOOF BLIND PERCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE POLAR BLOCH FIEND

HARRY POTTER AND THE FLIP BLEACH DONOR

HARRY POTTER AND THE FLORID BACON HELP

HARRY POTTER AND THE POOR BALLED FINCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE PONCHO-FILLED BAR

HARRY POTTER AND THE COHEN BRIDAL FLOP

HARRY POTTER AND THE RIBALD FELON CHOP

HARRY POTTER AND THE BALD PHONE FROLIC

HARRY POTTER AND THE PREFAB CHILD LOON

HARRY POTTER AND THE PORCH FONDLE BAIL

HARRY POTTER AND THE BRAN FILLED POOCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHORDAL BONE FLIP

HARRY POTTER AND THE BELLHOP INFO CARD

HARRY POTTER AND THE BERLIN FLOOD CHAP

HARRY POTTER AND THE FLORID NOBEL CHAP

HARRY POTTER AND THE BORON-FILLED CHAP

HARRY POTTER AND THE PHOBIC LARD FELON

HARRY POTTER AND THE BOLD PORCH FINALE

HARRY POTTER AND THE PAROLE BOND FILCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-PENCIL BROOD

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORPHIC LOAF BLEND

HARRY POTTER AND THE INDOOR FLAP BELCH

HARRY POTTER AND THE BLONDE CHOIR FLAP

Let the book synopses begin!

I CALL IT "DESPERATE HOUSEGIRLS"

How about this for next fall's lineup as ABC's new hour-long dramedy? By day she's a substitute teacher who eats lunch in her car, reads the students' textbooks out of boredom, and bribes kids to be quiet with generic "store brand" cookies. By night she's a waitress who steals sweet-n-lows, makes experimental margaritas, and secretly hates every person who comes into the restaurant to order food. By late-late night she wears a lime-green lycra suit and saves lives, unless a new NetFlix movie came in the mail and then she stays home to watch the director's commentary with the roommate and roommate's new boobs.

REVENGE OF THE ANAGRAM GENERATOR

Here are some anagrams of the title of the new Star Wars flick, "REVENGE OF THE SITH" ...

STAR WARS: FIVE ETHERNET HOGS
STAR WARS: THE FIGHT OVERSEEN
STAR WARS: THE VENEER OF SIGHT
STAR WARS: GO SHIFT THE VENEER
STAR WARS: OVERSEE, THEN FIGHT
STAR WARS: HE FIGHT ON EVEREST
STAR WARS: SEVERE THONG THIEF
STAR WARS: I, FERVENT SHEET HOG
STAR WARS: EIGHT FERVENT HOES
STAR WARS: HIS THE FERVENT EGO
STAR WARS: FREE THONG THIEVES
STAR WARS: FREE TEETH SHOVING
STAR WARS: FREE HOG SHIT EVENT
STAR WARS: HI STEVE; FREE THONG!
STAR WARS: HE GIVETH FREE SNOT
STAR WARS: OH, INGEST THE FEVER!
STAR WARS: FEVER GETS IN THE HO
STAR WARS: THE OVERNIGHT FEES
STAR WARS: NEVER FETE HOG SHIT
STAR WARS: HE OVERNIGHTS FEET
STAR WARS: THE SOVEREIGN HEFT
STAR WARS: GENE THIEVES FROTH

Feel free to reply with treatments for these new Star Wars film titles.

Alarming

So yesterday, I took my car to Walmart for an oil change. They told me it would be an hour and twenty to an hour and forty minutes, so I had some time to kill by walking around the store.

Since I am male, I headed to the electronics section, where I came up with a fun way to kill time: I would set an alarm clock to go off in two minutes, then I would walk around to the other side of the photo counter, where I had a good view. Then I would wait in delirious anticipation as an unsuspecting consumer would walk down the aisle to look at boom boxes or whatever, checking my watch for the exact time when the alarm would go off, then watching as these poor, startled shoppers tried to identify which alarm clock was going off and figure out how to silence it.

The greatest thing was that the alarm was just loud enough to startle that ONE person ... I couldn't hear it from my vantage point a mere twenty feet away. The electronics dept. checkout people couldn't hear it, so I could have done this endlessly. And it was fun not being able to hear the alarm myself, but knowing exactly when it went off by the little leap these startled people took.

I could write more, but I've got to head out and drive some ... the faster I put another 3,000 miles on the Corolla, the sooner I go on another alarming adventure.