ELECTION DAY BLOG! - AS IT HAPPENS ACTION!

It's mid day... so I forgot to report the action as it happened. Plus I had to drive to work so it took me a while.

Morning...

Voted. good job. We have the scantron type in my precinct. I slipped the sheet into the machine upside down so my vote won't count. Stupid republicans disenfranchising me.

11:12am : Still no results. Probably the Nazi fuckhead Republicans destroying the election.

11:30 am: Republicans at Taco Bell gave me 1 Chicken meximelt and 2 double decker tacos as opposed to how I ordered it. They are so bold in their brazen disregard for the rule of law and the will of the people.

12:00 Stupid asshole republican tacos gave me gas. Fuckers.

12:10 Gazed lovingly at face of John Edwards as I rhythmically moved mouse back and forth.

12:43 Still no results... IT'S NOT AN ELECTION... IT'S A COUP DE TAT (or however you spell that!! Fuck you republican! Get out of my cubicle!)

12:44 fell out of my chair swinging at the stealthy republicans who were hovering over my shoulder.

12:55 Making Bush and Cheney voodoo dolls out of Mild sauce packets and straw wrappers. Still no results. I think Michael Moore might write to me... he's dreamy.

1:09 The republicans stopped up the john after I went #2.

1:13 Results still being blocked by mind-control military industrial complex muther fucker republicans. Have to go over and see what's going on at Ain't It Cool News.

1:24 Writing ES + JE inside hearts on my notebook

1:38 My obviously republican boss disciplines me for inappropriate internet use.

2:00 CNN, Fox, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, TVSHOWSONDVD.COM, CNN, FOX,

2:15 Childhood memory flash to republicans beating me up in Catholic school

The Most Spine Tingling, Horrific, Gut Wrenching, Pulse Pounding, Heart Stopping, Adrenaline Pumping, Terrifying Halloween EVER!!!

So we all know that we're supposed to have turned back our clocks an hour last night, thus the end of day light savings time. This returns to us that one lost hour from the Spring. One more hour of bar-hopping, one more hour of sleep, one more hour to get up earlier and exercise, drink coffee, or have sex. I was cheated this year. My ONE day out of the year where I actually can do everything I need to was ripped out of my hands by a lunatic.
(Cue Friday the 13th sounds: kill kill kill die die die shh shh shh ha ha ha)
I was in a deep slumber, snuggled in the warm security of my bed, nestled between husband and cats when the horredous noise of my doorbell repeatedly being pushed woke me. I jumped up, put on my glasses and glanced at the alrady set back clock. 4 a.m. I stumbled out of the bed room. I made my way toward the front door, hitting every light switch I came across, finally the porch light. The blurred image behind the frosted glass on my front door was unrecognizable. I flung open the front door, my heart pounding, my body chilled from the A/C, facing the unknowing....(Cue Tales from the Crypt build up.)
An image more horrifying than waking up to find the cat has coughed up a hairball right next to your face. It was my worst night mare. It was...
my brother's mother-in-law.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Her face, tear stained, make-up-less, pasty in the yellow porchlight brought the most tremedous fears to my heart:
My brother and sister in law are in the ER, or worse, they're dead.
"Guess what?" she asked, lightly.
"They're in jail! The went to the haunted asylum and were arrested for trespassing with about 15 other people."
I was speechless. Not because they were in jail. Hell, Every year hundreds of people get arrested because they go to abandoned "haunted" places looking fror a cheap scare.
I was speechless because this woman drove across town and woke me up to tell me this. at FOUR in the morning. "What do I do?"
"Leave them there. Go back to bed" I replied starting to close the door.
(Cue sappy, poignant music.) "Oh, I'm so scared for my baby! She said it's $800 for the bond!!!! What do I do???"
I sighed. "Look up bail bonds in the phone book. Call them. You'll give them a little bit of money. They'll post the bail. The kids'll get processed and set free. Probably won't have charges pressed. Goodnight."
Her face twisted to cry: "But there are all those people that live under the bridge sown there."
Those people? What did she mean? Zombies? Trolls? Billy goats gruff? (Cue Pyscho music) "Homeless People!!!"
She left. I turned to look at my husband, standing naked and laughing behind the door. "Let's go to back to bed." We made our way back to the bedroom, turning the lights out, tripping over things on the floor, reaching blindly for the comforts of our bed and musing over the strange events... I reached down to pull back the comforter and.....
(Cue O Fortuna, Carmina Burana )
Why does the cat always puke on MY side of the bed???!!!!
Happy Halloween ya freaks!