THE NOSE KNOWS

This lady in front of me at Target this morning had the BIGGEST NOSTRILS I'VE EVER SEEN.

MY GOD.

Otherwise attractive, it looked like she had two giant inverted cones shoved into the center of her face, those holes were so big. They were "I smell dead people" big.

She was with a man. They were buying Target gew-gaws but not so subtley mocking the idea of getting a Target Card. GINORMOUS NOSTRIL WOMAN joked that by the time a credit card bill came in, they would be married. "This is what you're in for, get used to it," she joked to her fiancee.

That's right pal, for the rest of your life, this woman is going to smell every single thing you do, say, feel or think.

Get used to it, indeed.